Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
