i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
