grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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