So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
