yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
