Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
