Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone signed my nipple.
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