Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
