We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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