Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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