This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize