First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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