I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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