i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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