He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
