that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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