Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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