Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
