Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
