It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize