He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
