Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
