We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
