Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
