Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
