One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
