capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
