forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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