What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
