she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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