I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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