Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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