So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
