lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
