hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
