is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
