I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
