I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
