Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
