but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
