Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
