Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
