I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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