every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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