dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
