i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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