so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
