Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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