I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize