Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is wine microwaveable?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
