Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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