walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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