OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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