He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
