Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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