his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
