playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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