I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
