Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
