Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
