he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I believe in your delicious
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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