and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
