Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
