I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
