There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
