so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
