she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
