It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
